www.unpcstokecity.co.uk

I currently have a problem where I can't stop calling people while I'm curling one out, there's nothing sexual about it, I just feel really happy whilst on the phone telling the unsuspecting person on the other end that I'm having a shit, listening to them believing that I'm talking bollocks whilst I push one out, can I just ask, when is the best time to call you?

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When you are having a shit?

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God washes whiter than all

Odd you should ask that, Abs.

I've recently joined the happy slapping eighteenth century and got mesen a portable telephone with a photographic device included. Subsequently, Ade and I have taken to photographing ourselves whilst engaged in the turdery or the weeery in the bogs of the world (Stoke, Newcastle, Derby and Blackpool as of yet). We send these to each other in a non-homoscaterotic stylee and hope, eventually, to collate them on to a digital album entitled "Evidence For The Prosecution".

Any times good to call, but I might not answer if people are in the office or I'm on the crapper as that sounds weird through the cubicle door.

First posts on this fore ham for over a year, whoo-eee!